This blog will hopefully inspire you, warm your heart, make you smile and feel positive.

Obviously, he’s not a relationship expert. But after losing a marriage of almost 16 years, this gives him perspective of things that he wishes he would have done differently.

Never stop dating
Never ever take her for granted. When you asked her to marry you, you promised to be the man that would own her heart and to fiercely protect it. This is the most important and sacred treasure you will ever be entrusted with. She chose you. Never forget that. Never get lazy in your love.

Protect your own heart
Just as you committed to being the protector of her heart, you must guard your own with the same vigilance. Love yourself fully, love the world openly, but there is a special place in your heart where no one must enter except for her. Keep that space always ready for her and refuse to let anyone enter there.

Fall in love over and over again
You will constantly change. You’re not the same people you were when you got married. Always fight to win her love just as you did when you were dating her. She doesn’t have to stay with you, and if you don’t take care of her heart, she may give that heart to someone else, and you may never be able to get it back.

Always see the best in her
What you focus on will expand. If you focus on what bugs you, all you will see is reasons to be bugged. If you focus on what you love, you can’t help but be consumed by love. Focus to the point where you can no longer see anything but love, and you know without a doubt that you are the luckiest man on earth to have her as your wife.

It’s not your job to change or fix her
Your job is to love her as she has no idea of her ever changing. And if she changes, love what she becomes, whether it’s what you wanted or not.

Take full accountability
Take full accountability for your own emotions. It’s not your wife’s job to make you happy, and also she can’t make you sad. You are responsible for finding your own happiness, and through that your joy will spill over into your relationship and your love.

Never blame her
If you get frustrated or angry at her, it is only because it is triggering something inside of you. They are your emotions and your responsibility. When you feel those feelings take time to get present and to look within and understand what it is inside of you that is asking to be healed.

Allow her to just be
When she’s sad or upset, it’s not your job to fix it, it’s your job to hold her and let her know it’s fine. Let her know that you hear her, and that she’s important and that you are that pillar on which she can always lean. Don’t run away when she’s upset. Stand present and strong and let her know you aren’t going anywhere. Listen to what she is really saying behind the words and emotion.

Fill her soul everyday
Learn her love languages and the specific ways that she feels important and cherished. Ask her to create a list of things that make her feel loved and memorize those things and make them a priority everyday.

Be present
Give her not only your time, but your focus, your attention and your soul. Do whatever it takes to clear your head so that when you are with her you are fully with her. Treat her as your most valuable client. Actually she is.

Don’t be an idiot
And don’t be afraid of being one either. You will make mistakes and so will she. Try not to make too big of mistakes, and learn from the ones you do make. You’re not supposed to be perfect, just try to not be too stupid. Don’t take yourself so damn seriously. Laugh. And make her laugh. Laughter makes everything else easier.

Give her space
Sometimes she will need to be reminded to take time to nurture herself. Tell her to take time for herself. She needs that space to renew and get re-centered, and to find herself after she gets lost in serving you and the world.

Be fully transparent
If you want to have trust you must be willing to share everything. Especially those things you don’t want to share. It takes courage to fully love, to fully open your heart and let her in. Drop the mask and show up perfect all the time. Be willing to share your fears and feelings, and quick to acknowledge your mistakes.

Never stop growing together
The stagnant pond breeds malaria, the flowing stream is always fresh and cool. Atrophy is the natural process when you stop working a muscle, just as it is if you stop working on your relationship. Find common goals, dreams and visions to work towards.

Don’t worry about money
Money is a game, find ways to work together as a team to win it. It never helps when teammates fight. Figure out ways to leverage both persons strength to win.

Forgive immediately
Focus on the future rather than carrying weight from the past. Don’t let your history hold you hostage. Holding onto past mistakes that either you or she makes, is like a heavy anchor to your marriage and will hold you back. Forgiveness is freedom and cut the anchor loose.

Always choose love
In the end, this is the only advice you need. If this is the guiding principle through which all your choices is governed, there is nothing that will threaten the happiness of your marriage. Love will always endure.

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Heaven and Hell

The old monk sat by the side of the road. With his eyes closed, his legs crossed and his hands folded in his lap. In deep meditation, he sat.

He was suddenly interrupted by the harsh and demanding voice of a samurai warrior. “Old man! Teach me about heaven and hell!”

Gradually the old monk began to open his eyes and saw the samurai stood in front of him, growing more and more agitated with each passing second.

“You wish to know the secrets of heaven and hell?” replied the monk. “You who are so unkempt. You whose hands and feet are covered with dirt. You whose hair is uncombed, whose breath is foul, whose sword is all rusty and neglected. You who are ugly and whose mother dresses you funny. You would ask me of heaven and hell?”

The samurai uttered a vile curse. He drew his sword and raised it high above his head. His face turned to crimson, and the veins on his neck stood out in bold relief as he prepared to sever the monk’s head from his shoulders.

“That’s hell,” said the old monk gently, just as the sword began its descent.

In that second, the samurai was overcome with amazement, awe, compassion and love for this gentle being who had dared to risk his life to give him such as lesson. He stopped his sword in mid-flight and his eyes filled with grateful tears.

“And that,” said the monk, “is heaven.”

habits

1. Connect with people deeply
We are attracted to people like us, and we also find likable people attractive. Being likable is easy; be more interested in hearing about the other person than talking about yourself. Ask probing questions to understand the background behind people’s actions, preferences, and stories.

2. Treat friendships as a priority
Friends don’t let friendships grow apart. By nourishing your friendships, you are practicing the skills to sustain a happy relationship. Making your friends smile is always an attractive habit.

3. Live in the present moment
In a study of attractiveness in a speed-dating situation, women found men more attractive if they measured higher in mindfulness. Mindfulness is peaceful self-awareness. It is the knowledge that in the present moment, everything is just as it should be. Mindfulness is attractive because we shift focus away from anxiety or depression while we focus on the now. Mindful people tend to be more emotionally balanced.

4. Move your body
Obviously physical exercise keeps a body in shape, and healthy bodies are more attractive than unhealthy ones. When we think of someone who is attractive, they almost always possess grace in their movements. Balance and stretching, as well as mindful movements will help you to present yourself as an attractive partner.

5. Nourish yourself with excellent food
Beauty starts from the inside, so nourishing your insides. Think about your friends are watching you as you eat. Will you be more attractive to them if they saw you eating some greasy fast food or dining on a gourmet vegan meal that you had made yourself?

6. Know your self worth
Be sure of your value. Be confident in the fact that you are intrinsically valuable as a human being and more so because of your character, intelligence and kind actions. Self-love is the best way to build self-confidence. Be careful not cross the line into arrogance. Aim for an attitude of self-assurance.

7. Have excellent sleep habits
Sleep ensures that our bodies are able to replenish their depleted resources. Making a habit of getting good rest also means that you’ll look better physically. Mentally, well-rested people are better able to cope with stress and less likely to fail to manage their emotions. Good sleep is a good self-care habit that can also make you more attractive.

8. Make it a habit to have down time
Self-care includes some time with no stress or concerns. Make sure to release stress by enjoying plenty of down time. Choose an activity that feeds your soul like meditation, yoga or reading.

9. Forgive and learn from mistakes
Self-improvement means constantly learning. Intelligence doesn’t have to mean that you have a degree. You can demonstrate intelligence by learning from mistakes and handling it well when you make one. You can demonstrate self-kindness by forgiving yourself for making a mistake in the first place, then, show what you’ve learned by avoiding the mistake in the future.

10. Take immense pleasure in simple things
In every moment you have a choice to be happy or to be angry, sad or afraid. Choose joy and gratitude no matter the situation. The smile on your face in that moment makes you attractive as it changes your mood, it relieves stress and it helps you stay positive.

Giving Life A Second Chance

If you’ve ever heard the saying: “you can learn and grow from every experience”, this is indeed true. I always wonder how everything that has happened in my life have led me to the person I become today. When I look back to some of the hardest moments, each of these experience have taught me some of the most important lessons and made me a better person. That love can heal, there are other people out there if you allow them in. Memories of loved ones live on forever. Take care of yourself so that you can take care of others. You alone are good enough. Words can kill. Friendship is sometimes bitter sweet. You cannot please everyone. Never settle or give up as life is a journey full of roadblocks. The best comes when you refuse to let failures break you down and acknowledge that there is a purpose for everything.

I like to laugh and I also like to make others laugh. Life passes by no matter you cry or laugh. So why wait all life for happiness? People often ask me, “What makes you so positive?” The truth is sometimes you don’t have a choice. When you fall into really bad situations, you cannot waste time in feeling sorry for yourself. You have to survive, build an armor around yourself and push on. My mom passed away 4 years ago. Others might see I’m coping it well. They think I should be over it. But sometimes I’ll stare at the emptiness and think about her. When I was a mess, I felt she’s still around and reminded me to hold on and be strong. Although I am still struggling with grief and uncertainties, mom taught me how to become a responsible person. I am meant to do amazing things, not just because that’s what mom wanted, but because I know what I am capable of.

You may be hitting rock bottom right now, remember that life isn’t all a dark cloud. There is light at the end of every tunnel and sometimes the rainbow you are looking for is just right in front of you. Never ever give up on yourself, there are people out there who care. You are meant to be who you are. All of the hard times you’ve gone through are not what power the stove. They are simply minor parts of the elements on the stove top that allow you to run smoothly. Experiences do not define who you are. Never forget your past or where you came from, but use them as motivation to move forward. Even if the journey so far is not that satisfied, learn the lessons, rebuild your life and set off again. Give life a second chance.

Consider This

Consider this:

During its first year of business, Coca-Cola sold only 400 Cokes.

Basketball superstar Michael Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team.

Sheila Holzworth lost her sight when she was only 10 years old. The orthodontic headgear that was attached to her braces snapped and gouged her eyes. Despite her lack of sight, she went on to become an internationally known athlete whose accomplishments include climbing to the icy summit of Mount Rainer in 1981.

After Thomas Carlyle lent the manuscript of “The French Revolution” to a friend whose servant carelessly used it to kindle a fire, he calmly went to work and re-wrote it.

Winston Churchill was unable to gain admittance to the prestigious Oxford or Cambridge universities because he “was weak in the classics”.

In 1962, four young women wanted to start a professional singing career. They began performing in their church and doing small concerts. Then they recorded their first record. It was a flop. The second, third, fourth, fifth and on through their ninth recordings were all failures. Early in 1964, they were booked for The Dick Clark Show. He barely paid enough to meet expenses and no contracts resulted from their national exposure. Later that summer, they recorded “Where Did Our Love Go?” This song raced to the top of the charts, and Diana Ross and the Supremes gained national recognition and prominence as a musical sensation.

In 1905, the University of Bern turned down a doctoral dissertation as being irrelevant and fanciful. The young physics student who wrote the dissertation was Albert Einstein, who was disappointed but not defeated.

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Angels In Disguise

angel

People think that angels exist in heaven. Heaven is a place where everything is perfect and we don’t need to worry about anything. But if we take a close look at our surroundings, this may change this so called “perspective”.

There are many people who enter our life as angels in disguise. Their presence adds beauty to our lives just like the rainbow which adds beauty to the dark sky after a storm. Beauty need not always be found in expensive gifts or lavish surprises. Sometimes beauty can be as simple as a loving hand which holds us in times of trouble and gives us a sense of security and comfort. Beauty can be encouraging words of support, or sometimes beauty can simply be sensed just by a small smile.

Often we take this so called “beauty” for granted and run behind materialistic pleasures. What we don’t realize is that we are in constant pursuit of so called “happiness” which is already inside us. All we need to do is discover this happiness inside each one of us. People around us play an important role in helping us discover this happiness. They can be your family, friends or even your pet. Sometimes, when our whole world turns upside down and our mind is racing with confusion, what we need is an encouraging hand to lift us back up and make us realize our true worth.

Angels were never meant to be in heaven. They are right here on earth. Discover the beautiful angel within us and let it blossom. So the next time we see a faint glimmer of worry or tension in the eyes of the people around us, just give them an encouraging ear and some of your time. It doesn’t cost you at all, but doubles the happiness in your heart.