This blog will hopefully inspire you, warm your heart, make you smile and feel positive.

My Next Life

30 Seconds of My Life

My Next Life
by George Carlin

I want to live my next life backwards: You start out dead and get that out
of the way.

Then you wake up in a nursing home feeling better every day.

Then you get kicked out for being too healthy.

Enjoy your retirement and collect your pension.

Then when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day.

You work 40 years until you’re too young to work.

You get ready for High School: drink alcohol, party, and you’re generally
promiscuous.

Then you go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, and you have no
responsibilities.

Then you become a baby, and then … you spend your last 9 months floating peacefully in Spa-like conditions – Central heating, room service on tap, and then …

You finish off as an orgasm.

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