This blog will hopefully inspire you, warm your heart, make you smile and feel positive.

Santa Is Coming To Town

christmas

Santa: [Entering a shop that sells curtains] I would like to buy a pair of green curtains.
Salesman: What size do you require?
Santa: 15 inches.
Salesman: 15 inches? That sounds a very small amount, what room are they for?
Santa: They aren’t for a room, they are for my computer monitor.
Salesman: [Feeling surprised] Sir, computers do not have curtains!
Santa: But my computer got “Windows”.

Santa: Doctor, I keep having the same strange dream every night.
Doctor: What was your dream about?
Santa: I was being chased by a vampire!
Doctor: [Smiling to himself] So, what is the scenery like?
Santa: I was running in a hall way.
Doctor: Then what happened?
Santa: Well that’s the weird thing. In every single dream, the same thing happened. I always come to this door, but I can’t open it. I keep pushing the door, but it just wouldn’t budge!
Doctor: Does the door have anything written on it?
Santa: Yes, it says “Pull”.

Santa: [Entering a shop that sells hearing aids] I would like to buy a hearing aid. How much do they cost?
Salesman: That depends, from $20 to $2000.
Santa: Let’s see the $20 model.
Salesman: [Putting the device around Santa’s neck] You just stick this button in your ear and run this little wire down to your pocket.
Santa: How does it work?
Salesman: For only $20 it doesn’t work. But when people see it on you, they’ll talk louder.

Santa: [Returning from his first day at school] Dad, today we had a spelling class. All the other kids could only say half the alphabet, but I knew the whole thing. Is that because I am abnormal?
Dad: No son, that’s because you are intelligent.
Santa: Dad, today we also had Maths class. All the other kids could only count from 1-10, I could count from 1 to 20. Is this because I am abnormal?
Dad: No son, that’s because you are intelligent.
Santa: [Happy with the answer] Dad, today we had medical examination. All the other boys were shorter than me, I was at least twice their height. Is that because I am abnormal?
Dad: No son, that’s because you are 33 years old.

If tonight a big fat man kidnaps and throws you into a sack, please stay calm. Because many people would have asked Santa for a sweet friend like you. Merry Christmas!

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