When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
– Lee Majors
After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can’t face each other, but still they stay together.
– Al Gore
By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.
Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
– Mike Tyson
I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
– Bill Clinton
Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
– George W. Bush
There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage.
– Michae Jordan
Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming:
1. Whenever you’re wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you’re right, shut up.
– Shaquille O’Neal
The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.
– Kobe Bryant
You know what I did before I married? Anything wanted to.
– David Hasselhoff
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
– Alec Baldwin
A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong.
– Barack Obama
Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.
– Tommy Lee
A man inserted an ‘ad’ in the classifieds: “Wife wanted”. Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: “You can have mine.”
– Brad Pitt
First guy said proudly: “My wife is an angel!”
Second guy: “You’re lucky, mine’s still alive.”
– Jimmy Kimmel
For Sale: Wedding Dress. Size 8. Worn Once By Mistake.