Spring just passed and it’s 37°C on the first day of summer. I suspect someday Australia will be unlivable. I finished my morning run, sweated heavily and was recovering my breath. The pain from my hip, knees and ankles is getting worse. It seems my running days are counting. I read a medical article the other night and it said: “Those who running too fast too far for too many years may also arrive their finish line of life too soon.” Other than the benefits of exercise, running can possibly wear and tear your heart and joints. I learn that life is about balance, even sunshine burns if I get too much.
At work I always try hard to complete my tasks on time. In turn, the comment given to me in my annual performance appraisal is: “Being a silent achiever is not enough; you need to make more noise.” I don’t know when the world starts to adore people with loud voices and extreme actions to achieve their goals. Politicians argue in the parliament like in the marketplace, people and political parties protest on streets for various causes, banners with humiliating messages, burning countries’ flags, blocking traffic and buildings, throwing objects at cars and police. Mutual respect for each other becomes worthless. Speak up even you have no points to speak, answer a question by asking another question. I learn that if I can’t adapt myself to the world, I accept my faults and adapt the world to myself.
Looking at the faces of my friends’ kids in Facebook, they show hope for the future and joy of life. My dear friend, if we are still together, we may at a different path in our life. But in the end that friendship of many years just left a sigh in the middle of the night. No matter how long we were together and how much we experienced, things still getting changed. Those promises and sacrifices are eventually meaningless. The relationship is so fragile and love is just a joke. I learn from every goodbye, let go of the people and situations that I can’t change, and move on with my life. Instead of decorating the life of others, I plant my own garden and create my happiness inside.
I visited mum at the aged care centre after work. The other women in her room are always sleeping without anyone visiting. The room was dim and mum was lying on the bed. She loses both weight and vitality, and is suddenly looked much older. She was healthy just a few years back. One day she felt sick and her health keeps deteriorating. She worked hard her whole life but rather than enjoying in her old age, she suffers from her illness. Mum, life’s not fair, is it? When I taught her to play Angry Birds, her shaking finger can’t even launch the bird from the slingshot, and the bird just fell and killed itself. I learn that life is unpredictable; someday it will fall apart and now is the only moment I’ll ever have. All the setbacks and grieves that I endured today just make me stronger tomorrow.
Life is to keep learning. Sometimes the learning comes from understanding your successes, sometimes by reflecting on the failures of others. But perhaps the most valuable learning is not to repeat your own personal failures.