This blog will hopefully inspire you, warm your heart, make you smile and feel positive.

The Woman in the Window

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From A.J. Finn’s thriller – “The Woman in the Window”, I learned about agoraphobia – a type of anxiety disorder in which you fear and avoid places or situations that might cause you to panic and make you feel trapped. You fear an actual or anticipated situation, such as using public transportation, being in open or enclosed spaces, standing in line, or being in a crowd. Most people who have agoraphobia develop it after having one or more panic attacks, causing them to worry about having another attack and avoid the places where it may happen again. People with agoraphobia often have a hard time feeling safe in any public place. The fear can be so overwhelming that you may feel unable to leave your home.

The story of “The Woman in the Window” is similar to Alfred Hitchcock’s “Rear Window”.  Anna was a child psychologist. She was agoraphobic and had not left home for a year but she still gave consultation to her patients online. She watched classic movies, the novel is filled with lots of movie dialogue which I feel confusing sometimes. She claimed she was separated from her husband and daughter, but I might read too many thrillers, I know they were dead from the beginning. Those small talks were just her imagination. Anna drank a lot, mostly merlot, and she also liked to spy on her neighbors. One day, a new family – the Russells (husband, wife and their teenager son), moved in.

Anna spied the Russells through her binoculars and witnessed the wife being killed by someone. She reported to the police but another woman showed up and identified herself as the real wife. With no one believed her, Anna started the investigation herself. Again, I might read too many thrillers, it’s not hard to figure out the logic. Warning: spoiler alert for the rest of this paragraph. If the woman being murdered was not the wife, she was someone else related to the Russells family. Anna found the woman’s earring in her tenant’s room (Anna had a tenant who lived in her basement), then she was the girl who had a relationship with her tenant and she was in Anna’s house most of the time. In order to build up the suspense, A.J. Finn tried too hard to make the readers think the killer is either the husband, the real wife or Anna’s tenant. But it’s quite obvious who the killer is if you exclude all these characters.

If you like “The Girl on the Train”, you will probably like “The Woman in the Window”. But to me, it’s not a present read. I was struggled to follow a depressed agoraphobic woman who was stuck in her house, took her medication with alcohol and wandered between dream and reality most of the time. A few times Anna forced herself to go outside and developed the symptoms of agoraphobia, I just sighed … oh no. The story line is not new and it can’t offer me the surprises at the end. But it’s just my opinion, if you want to spend time with a reasonable novel, “The Woman in the Window” may be a good pick among the thrillers in 2018. By the way, its movie rights were already acquired and the film will be released next year.

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When facing a problem the leader says, “Let’s find out,” while the wannabe says, “Nobody knows.”

Leaders communicate commitment while wannabes make promises.

Leaders have the capacity to listen while wannabes can’t wait for their turn to talk.

Leaders say “there is a better way to do this”, while wannabes say “this is the way we have always done things around here”.

Leaders say “I’m a good leader, but could do better” while the wannabe says “I’m better than a lot of people”.

Leaders take accountability for their mistakes while the wannabes point fingers and say “it’s your fault”.

– Originally published in June 2012

cando

“There is no greater gift you can give or receive than to honor your calling. It’s why you were born. And how you become most truly alive.” – Oprah Winfrey

When your soul feels defeated and your emotions are bruised, the bright light to hold onto is your calling. There is a divine purpose for your birth and following that will breathe new life into your soul.

“One of the most important keys to success is having the discipline to do what you know you should do, even when you don’t feel like doing it.” – Unknown

Success is the sum of efforts made every day. Discipline is the drive to do what needs to be done even when you don’t want to. Practicing discipline on a daily basis can become the foundation of all of your future success.

“The self is made, not given.” – Barbara Myerhoff

An important thing to remember is that who you are is not determined by others. You create yourself every day of your life. If you want to be kinder, wake up and be kind. If you want to be more successful, wake up and work harder. You are the creator of yourself.

“Go where you are celebrated – not tolerated. If they can’t see the real value of you, it’s time for a new start.” – Unknown

It is far too common for people to remain in a situation where they don’t feel appreciated. This stubbornness can lead to feelings of stress and anxiety. Don’t remain in a situation and around people who don’t appreciate you. Instead, dedicate your time to those who appreciate your presence. Don’t be afraid to start over with a new group of friends.

“In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure.” – Bill Cosby

This quote taps into the fear of failure that we all possess. Our fear of failing at something constantly has the power to stop us from even trying. The way to overcome your fear of failure is to latch yourself onto an even stronger force – your desire to succeed.

“Lean forward into your life. Begin each day as if it were on purpose.” – Mary Anne Radmacher

Life isn’t meant to be simply survived. It is meant to be lived. You are meant to thrive. Instead of waking up every morning and doing the bare minimum of tasks to get through your day, lean into your day. Each day you wake up is a gift. Treat it as such and live it as if you were meant to have it.

“The best revenge is massive success.” – Frank Sinatra

There are people who will try to ruin your day. They will try to hold you back. Or try to tell you that you can’t do it. They will hurt you and try to make you feel worthless. Rise above their cruelty and focus on your own success. Proving all of them wrong and succeeding despite their best efforts will be the best revenge you can have.

“People who use time wisely spend it on activities that advance their overall purpose in life.” – John C. Maxwell

If you wish to be successful, you must learn to wisely manage a proper amount of time to dedicate to that success. Your success and your purpose in life should be one and the same. When you begin to dedicate yourself to your purpose, you will find that you have more success.

“I am thankful for all of those who said no to me. It’s because of them I’m doing it myself.” – Albert Einstein

When you rely on others to achieve your goals, you are giving them power over you and your goals. This also means you have to share in the accolades and sense of accomplishment. It is better to do things for yourself so that the success of your goals lies only in your hands.

“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” – Maya Angelou

Maya Angelou is famous for her inspiring quotes about life. Here, Maya is reminding everyone that the painful and dark parts of your life can be turned into beautiful stories. These stories can help guide others when they’re experiencing a dark time of their own. The more you share your story, the less it will hurt you.

Just Some Motion

Sven Otten, comes under the name of JustSomeMotion in YouTube, is what you will call a talented dancer. Over the years, he has been dancing. He has worked on his skills, practicing for hours each day in order to master a very wide spectrum of styles. He has then managed to marry all of these styles to form his own mind-bending art form.

In the video below, he shared his unique dance with the world. While dancing to an electronic beat that fuses jazz, electron, and break-beat, this German dancer showed off his moves. The way that he manages to blend the traditional and modern styles together is like nothing we have ever seen before.

On his website, Sven listed “Melbourne Shuffle, Tectonik, Rebolation, and Charleston” as some of his primary influences, and certain characteristics of these styles are on display in his performance. Watching his moves will just never get boring. Your eyes will be mesmerized by his phenomenal moves and style. Once you’ve watched it, you’ll understand how it’s amassed over 46 million views on YouTube alone.

From Sven, we learned that success is the combination of passion and working hard. Music and dancing are always in his mind and he practices hard every day to perfect his movement. A good rhythm that keeps up to the beat of music is critical to a dancer. Like a runner can only give his best performance with his own pace. When you find your rhythm, you will experience an effortless flow like Sven.

Sven has integrated different types of dance and created his own style. So have an open mind and the courage to mix different ingredients in your work, you will be surprised by the outcome. Lastly, don’t be afraid to show off. You need to share your stories in order to inspire people. No one will know about Sven if he hides himself and only dances at home.

Jump and the Net will Appear

Essentially, what most of us are doing is waiting – waiting for permission, waiting for fate, waiting for the right moment. In fact, everyone has something they want and are just waiting to have happen, but haven’t made it happen yet.

Admit it, haven’t you sat at a bar or at a social event and seen someone you thought was interesting, and haven’t you found yourself sitting there waiting for something to happen?

You don’t really hear words in your head telling you to not walk over, start talking to people and showing them that you are interesting, but you sit there battling a silent fear inside you that tells you that there is only pain ahead.

You have to jump first, and then your net will appear. You have to take a leap of faith, and understand that your cushion or safety – your net – is not going to be visible to you at this second, especially when facing a challenge. Your net is invisible at this point, and it will not appear until you act.

90% of what we worry about never happens. 90% of what happens to us; we never had a chance to worry about.

– Originally published in May 2012

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1. Daily Gratitude
Despite challenges, there is always something you can thankful for.

2. Eat Well, Drink Well and Sleep Well
Research suggests the quality of our food, water and sleep always affect our mood.

3. Physical Activities
Movement tells your brain to release endorphins which reduce stress, improve sleep and boosts self esteem.

4. Follow Your Passions
If you are not happy, find out what makes you happy and do more of that. Create your life around it.

5. Center Yourself
Resetting exercises like meditation, yoga, deep breathing and walking in nature can release negativity.

6. Inner Work
Exercises like Tapping, NLP, Mirror Work, and Affirmations can release past trauma to give you the ability to heal.

7. Help Others
Helping others feel more positive naturally creates a ripple effect back to you.

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On a scale of 1 to 10, how good do you feel today? Now consider what would bring you up to a perfect 10. A vacation, a promotion, or a pay rise? Now what would make you drop down by the same number of points? Sickness, depression, war, financial ruin, damage to your reputation, losing your best friend, death? The long list of possibilities makes us realize just how many obstacles to our happiness exist; in short, there are more bad things than good – and they are far more consequential.

We fear loss more than we value gain. Losing $100 costs you a greater amount of happiness than the delight you would feel if I gave you $100. In fact, it has been proven that, emotionally, a loss “weighs” about twice that of a similar gain. Social scientists call this loss aversion. So if you want to convince someone about something, don’t focus on the advantages; instead highlight how it helps them dodge the disadvantages.

For example, to promote breast self-examination (BSE), the pamphlet emphasizes that women who do not do BSE will have a decreased chance of finding a tumor in the early stage. The fear of losing something motivates people more than the prospect of gaining something of equal value. The most effective way of encouraging customers to purchase a home insulation product is to tell them how much money they are losing without insulation – as opposed to how much money they would save with it, even though the amount is exactly the same.

A multimillionaire was upset because he had lost a $100 bill, even the value of his portfolio fluctuated by at least $100 every second. We can’t fight it: Evil is more powerful and more plentiful than good. We are more sensitive to negative than to positive things. On the street, scary faces stand out more than smiling ones. We remember bad behavior longer than good – except, of course, when it comes to ourselves.