Diary

The homework for the class is to submit a short diary to the teacher. Little Johnny submitted his diary:

30-Feb Sunny
The sun did not come out the whole day. Dad bought two goldfishes and I put them into the tank. One of them drowned. I feel very upset.

His teacher’s comments:

I also feel very upset. I never know February has a 30th. I never know a sunny day that the sun didn’t come out. And I never know a goldfish can be drowned!

 

An Honorary Physician

A member of the faculty in a London medical college was appointed an honorary physician to the king. He proudly wrote a notice, on the blackboard in his class-room:

“Professor Jennings informs his students that he has been appointed honorary physician to His Majesty, King George.”

When he returned to the class-room in the afternoon he found written below his notice this line:

“God save the King.”

 

Argue No More

After a trip abroad, a lady inquired of her washerwoman: “Lucy, do you and your husband quarrel now the same as you used to?”

“No, indeed, ma’am,” was the reply.

“That is good. I’m sure you’re very glad of it, aren’t you?”

“Ah surely is.”

“What caused you to stop quarreling, Lucy?” the lady asked.

The explanation was simple and sufficient: “He died.”